Make Us Smile

I always said I wanted to be somebody when I grew up. I should have been more specific.                                                                                                             — Lily Tomlin

My favorite poem is the one that starts “Thirty days hath September” because it actually tells you something.                                                                                     — Groucho Marx

Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say, abstains from giving us wordy evidence of the fact.                                                                                                            — George Eliot

The older a man gets, the farther he had to walk to school as a boy.                                                                                                   — Commercial Appeal

Indecision may or may not be my problem.                                            — Jimmy Buffett

If sex is such a natural phenomenon, how come there are so many books on how to do it?                                                                                                                  — Bette  Midler

We are born charming, fresh and spontaneous and must be civilized before we are fit to participate in society.                                               —Judith Martin, aka “Miss Manners”

My mother could make anybody feel guilty – she used to get letters of apology from people she didn’t even know.                                                                                    — Joan Rivers

What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.                                                                                                                         — Phyllis Diller

I’m sixty years of age. That’s 16 Celsius.                                                          — George Carlin

In this house we OBEY the laws of thermodynamics!                                — Homer Simpson

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s